New Blog Site!

For anyone who still manages to be following me here, I have moved!  My blog for my Italian semester ((and beyond??)) is www.mnbmprncss.blogspot.com

God damn it, I am getting old.

I got a great 1-2 punch combination of growing up today that I was totally unprepared for.

1) One of my exes in engaged.  At least I think so.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Now, I'm not new to the phenomenon of people I know my age getting engaged, married, pregnant or some combination of the three, but this is someone that I dated.  Like, someone who could have concievably at one point wanted to marry me.  Which is a whole other world of awkward, because I'm not entirely sure I'm going to get married.

2) I got laid off for the first time today.  And my first thought was, "I can't be getting laid off.  People's dads get laid off.  Established professionals get laid off.  Not me.  I'm still a teenager."  But alas, my denial didn't change the fact that I am now, once again, unemployed.  Well shit.  Welcome to being an adult.

For Tierney

hey beautiful

it gets kinda lonely down here sometimes
in the cold
or lackthereof
in the tests and the essays
and the brain numbing classes
sometimes i wonder if you're not better off

i have a secret, you may already know it
i didn't cry
not for days
not until after the funeral,
curled up in betsy's arms eating chinese takeout
the food of pain
then i finally cried
not because you were gone but because

i had let you go so much earlier
i'm sorry about that
you changed
and i resented the woman you were for taking away
the girl i knew
and i ruined those last almost memories

i would go over memories
dancing images of you in my head
but your essence is not in the
"moments"
the events
but in the daily
not in the "wow that dress looks great on you"
but in the "because i'm babboon butt,
that's why"

if i ever live in something
other than a cardboard box
i am still going to build you

a beauty and the beast library

I'm really going to do it this time.
No, seriously.

Setting a goal.
Making it happen.

What would be a good name for a theatre company?